Oops! I see that none of my posts have made it on to the blog. When I figure out why not I will re attach them; although it is all old news at this point. Yet, for the 2 of you who read this blog, you might be interested anyway – hahaha!
Today, it has been 2 and a half years since Jim went to heaven. I am glad for him and though I miss him everyday I know that God is still good and Jesus is the hope of glory! It is often difficult to describle the pain I experience and I probably won’t say much even now because I don’t want it to sound like I am complaining and whining. I will say that I am startled by the realization that I probably NEVER get over the emptiness in the pit of my life. Somedays I can ignore the pain enough as I avoid my reality by staying busy or other means of assuaging the grief and other days I just ache unbearably.
I am startled too by the way Jim’s death has impacted my day to day living. I spent half my life as a team with Jim and now I am struggling with “rebooting” everything from exercise to praying by myself. I just did not expect my relationship with God and food and sleep and more to be so negatively impacted by losing my life partner. But it is and now I am struggling to find a new identity and motivation and passion, especially when I don’t want to. For now, it is about all I can do to just show up for the day!
Grief is my companion but we still are not friends.
The Hope of Glory
May 5, 2013 by mirm
“Grief is my companion but we still are not friends.” I totally get THAT one, girlfirend!
I read! I keep looking for a new entry!