It has already been 6 years

6 years since the strange shuffling of his foot and the droop in in his smile. 6 years since he seemed to become slow to respond and abnormally quiet. 6 years since the “C” word entered my life and altered the landscape of my existence. 6 years. It seems distant and faded in many ways. I don’t cry all the time any more.  I can remember things without getting sad. Most of my memories and my life are, after all, joyful to recall. 6 years of living in a misty fog and waiting.

In that six years, my kids made it through their formative teen years and have become amazing adults.  Jim would be so proud. In that six years, Emily has found her life partner and is ready to launch her own family.  In that 6 years we have struggled emotionally and financially but have witnessed God’s amazing grace and his unparalleled provision and favor.

6 days to work and on the 7th day God rested. Six years and a slave was freed in the Bible.  So, here I am, ready to rest from this weary business of sorrow and to be free from this load of grief.  I wonder what the next six years will bring but in the meantime I will remember the Lord’s lovingkindness and his faithfulness as I rest in the freedom He alone provides.