Life in a Bubble

I have become aware of something weird. I am not sure of the relationship between being a housed homeless person and my current perspective and perception of my life. But it feels a bit like Rip van Winkle who slept for 40 years and woke up and life was so different.

I think I have stopped the rhythm in my life and relationships by being so existential in my living situation. I stopped getting mail everyday. I stopped watching television. I am intentionally ignoring the high conflict of the political environment. I am noticing a release from a life I have known that is not being replaced by anything or anyone else. It feels like a slow leak in a tire.  I have always been a strategic thinker and like big picture ideas but of late I feel like I am running in the dark and even a bit aimlessly. I feel I am late to the party and I have no idea what is going on. As I catch up I am not even sure I want to because life while narrow has not been bad.

Perhaps my new vantage point will add something but right now it feels very incomplete.

I opened my email and saw babies coming and just born. I read about cancer diagnoses. I clcked on facebook and saw that several people I once knew had died. I saw family members in the hospital or passed. I guess I don’t like that facebook has become the only platform to find out such personal info. And yet, it is how many communicate – Some exclusively. I grieve not just for the losses but for the loss of a last or recent live conversation or an in-person friendship once  cherished. It makes me long even more for the days beyond time when we will connect once again. They will be real-lationships!