Life is not fair
“That’s not Fair!” is not an uncommon phrase in the English language. It is an often repeated sentiment that starts being used from the minute a sibling is born. And it is a feeling that is honed and perfected over a lifetime. And yet, why do we think life should be fair? Why do we feel entitled to the exact same thing that everyone else has or gets or does? Would we really want things in this world to be fair? While the statement that life is not fair is true it is also true that God is not fair either!
Throughout the Bible we see God doing things that just aren’t fair. In one of many examples Jesus told a parable to his disciples about some people who work one hour and get the same wages as people who worked the whole day. That’s not fair! If I were in the crowd of people who worked the whole day, I too would have felt a little bit wronged! Even so, I am actually glad that God is not fair. While He is just, He is also gracious and merciful. Mercy is God not giving me what I deserve (what I deserve would have been fair). Grace is God giving me better than what I deserve. The foundations of salvation fly in the face of fairness. They press back against it; reminding me that God is so much better than fair. Fairness means hell for me. Therefore, I celebrate a God who is so much better than fair!
God owes me nothing. It is not fair that He should pay the price for my sin. It is not fair that I should have all I have when others are hungry and cold; nor is it even fathomable that I should expect even more and complain when I don’t get it?! When will I learn to bask in His “unfairness”? My desire for fairness reveals a deep-seeded conviction that I think I deserve what I have; but I don’t. It shows my selfishness, arrogance, my inability to be grateful and my sinful nature. When one compares, one can feel like God’s not fair. But God never claimed to be fair—or even experienced fairness Himself. When Jim was diagnosed with inoperable and terminal brain cancer I had a really difficult time reconciling God’s decision to answer the prayers of others in regard to physical healing and not ours. I had to learn that a just God is still good even when He doesn’t seem fair. It takes courage to trust Him even when I don’t like or understand His answers or His ways. It took a lot processing and time to learn to carry the joy I felt for what God could do in the same heart that was breaking because of what God wouldn’t do. I had to confront the unfairness of the God I loved.
The advent season can sometimes reflect the worst of us. We may not outwardly say, “That’s not Fair!”, but we may feel it as we look at the number or value of gifts that others receive, the size of the bonus, or the length of time our relatives/friends spend with others. It is a symptom of a much larger issue when we question a good God about His endless love for us because he doesn’t give us what we think we need or deserve. And then we miss the whole point when we take our focus off the One who is in charge and all He has done and continues to do for us.
When life seems unfair – and it is – I think of Simeon. In spite of waiting for so long, he knew, along with Anna, that the Messiah would be in his lifetime. He fixed his eyes on things above as he waited and watched year after year without any sign of that for which he was longing. This period of longing happened in silence – a silence that lasted for four hundred years and that was after centuries of being told by more than one prophet that the Messiah would come! It hardly seems reasonable or fair. Simeon represents the Jewish people who waited and longed for the fulfillment of the promise foreigners took over their cities, replaced their government, disrupted their identity, and ravaged their wealth. It was a really long time and many probably quit waiting, wondering if God had forgotten them or deciding that He was unfair. I, too, have had loss and hardship but keep learning to hold on to hope as I wait for a faithful and unfair God to console and comfort and fix it. Bu Simeon was paying attention to God which is essentially worship.
Simeon sat in the temple courtyard where he had been for years. Unlike our churches of today, the temple was a very busy place. There were money changers and stalls full of turtle doves, oxen, goats and sheep. Roman soldiers marching nearby watching for zealots. Priests were chanting out loud with musical accompaniment. There were Levites with more than one burnt offering/barbeque in process. Herod’s workers were still building additions. There were beggars shouting, babies crying, coins clinking, people in various courtyards praying. Rabbis teaching their disciples. Yet Simeon kept his focus on what he was waiting for – the consolation of Israel – that he knew would change the world! He was not shy about his longing; in fact, when he sees Jesus, he references that ache as he says that basically the only reason he is still alive is his desperation to see God work. He didn’t get to see how God was going to use this baby, but he didn’t need to. He never saw a miracle performed or heard the sermon on the mount. But he didn’t need to! He saw Jesus in the midst of the chaos around him and he knew He could rest with hope in the God who came to fix the problem we made. He may even have heard about a baby being born in Bethlehem who had special visitors. her may have known about the star and what it represented.
Advent has never been one long strand of undimmed twinkle lights. It’s always been complex, leaning towards hope but tinged with melancholy. Sometimes, in the dark season of waiting, my heart mirrors winter’s emptiness and my level of anxiety grows. I wonder if I have done enough. I worry about pleasing everyone. I start focusing on my own loneliness and I grow impatient with traffic, with people and with God. I get lost in the busy shuffle and focus on how unfair, or at least how ridiculous the whole season is. Additionally, none of the God story is clear or fair or simple and yet it is still the most profound reality to consider. God became human so we could gain everything. That’s not fair!