The Hardest Part – Lament

During this lent season there is a small discussion group made up of 12 or so women who meet at lunch once a week to discuss the book study called The Hardest Part by Kate Bowler.

I was asked to lead the discussion on Lament. It is conversation still in process.

My kids will tell you that one of the things I hate most is complaining. It is almost as sinful as the idea of boredom. Lament is a biblical practice that is difficult for me because it feels so much like complaining! It is weird that God hates complaining and yet encourages lament. Both are pointing to human suffering and a fallen, broken world. Both are cries of pain at the injustices and sorrow in the world. So, what is the difference?

I am not sure of the whole answer, but I think that the clue comes from the Israelites in the desert. They complained. They whined and griped. They blamed God for the situation – which was His doing – but they were ungrateful, untrusting, and myopic. They pushed away from the Lord instead of asking for help. They didn’t want to depend on the Lord to go forward; rather they valued their independence over the grace and abundance offered. Their behavior indicated that they actually preferred getting sinfully angry and embittered, and felt justified in doing so! I know that God allows raw and honest conversation. He is not upset by our words, thoughts and feelings. So, when I look at the negative heart and the rebellion of the Israelites, I can see that instead of recognizing God’s sovereignty and faithfulness, they reviled His power. They felt entitled, thinking that if God really loved them, they would be immune to any hardship. They just wanted to

I know crying is part of our humanity and it is a natural response to grief and sorrow. Complaining is a choice. We choose to see the glass as half empty. We choose to how we respond to the inevitable storms and difficulties in this life. We choose how we groan, stay stuck, and channel our inner “Eeyore”. Bad stuff is going to happen and we can complain about it or we can notice it and do something about it! By doing something about it what I mean is that we can take it to the Lord and allow Him to fix it! That is lament – noticing the storm clouds and asking God to make things right. Complaining is a choice, but so is lament. And it has a unique purpose: trust. Lament is an invitation to pour out our fears, frustrations, and sorrows to the only One who can comfort the hurting.

Lament is the cry of the heart that turns toward God when sorrow and grief want us to run away. Instead of blaming God,hostile venting or wallowing in self pity, lament allows us to turn to God in the middle of the pain and trials we are going through and acknowledge God’s presence. Complaint is accusatory and passive; we hold God responsible for our happiness. Conversely, lament is an act of submission, as we put our faith in a God who always keeps his promises with our best interests in mind. Complaint is unleashing our pain and confusion on everyone who will listen but still leaves us stuck in the middle of it. Lament is part of worship, as it points us to deeper hope and trust. It is a prayer that asks God for help and deliverance.

The practice of lament is an exercise in taking all our sadness, anger, disillusionment, disappointment, grief, and despair over the broken aspects of our lives and the world into prayer before the Lord, knowing that no matter what happens, He loves us and can fix it. I don’t know about anyone else, but I choose to eschew complaining and embrace lament. I don’t want simply to cry loud enough or long enough my feelings of anger, pain, disillusionment and resentment and expect that I deserve something better. I want to cry out to the Lord about the grief and sorrow I see. Instead of being heard, I want to listen and wait with hopeful expectation to see how God will respond. My greatest hope in every lament is that one day there will be no more lament. I trust you Lord with my sadness and my sorrow.