Launching my First born!
Perhaps this is too personal to put on this blog. It is the letter I wrote to Emily this evening. It sort of captures some of the feelings I am experiencing as she moves to Biola to start her college experience tomorrow.
Dear Emily Ruth,
I am sitting here listening to you laugh and sing with your best friend Marisa (aka Gus). It is your “last” night at home and I am shocked at the varying emotions I feel. I did not expect this at all. I am so proud to be your mom. You are an amazing adventure and have been since the moment I knew you were growing inside of me. I am so blessed by you and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you! At the same time I am scared to send you out into the world (probably unprepared) and sad that it is time for you to go.
I am so excited for you as you start Biola. I remember my college years so well and Biola definitely changed my life as I am sure it will for you too. You are about to make so many choices that will impact you forever. You are going to grow in your relationship with the Lord in powerful ways. You are going to learn SO much. You will make new friends who will move into your heart and some will even stay for the rest of your life. You might even find your soul-mate like I did! You have been given an amazing opportunity to go to college and to study the Bible along with all the other courses you will need for life. The privilege of being at Biola was a gift from your dad, but the right to be there was earned by you! You are smart and talented and I believe God has a unique plan for your life. I know there is pressure to “measure” up, to do well, and to not embarrass your dad’s memory, but I also know that you will make the most of this time and not take it for granted.
There are so many things I feel that I did not prepare you for. Even though I had an “extra” year with you before launching you into adulthood, I must confess that I often think I did a lousy job at getting you ready and there are so many more things I feel I should have taught you! But, maybe every parent feels that way, I don’t know. I am trying hard to let go of some of it and trust that God will fill in the gaps. He wants you to succeed and live joyfully even more that I do! I am trying to not be anxious and worry. And I really wish your dad was here with his wisdom and patience for both of us. I could start a long list of things I want to say and make sure you know, but I won’t. I know that most people remember the “last words” best so I am going to choose mine carefully! They are the most important too!
“Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5,6
Pursue God with every breath, every word, every friendship, and live out loud and in color! I will continue to be watching and praying and rooting for you every moment of your life. I love you. Always.