Never in my Wildest Dreams #36
Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my life. I could not have predicted most of it! Of course I had dreams and imagined all kids of scenarios – who didn’t!? Of course there are parts that are better than I imagined and things that are worse. Of course there are regrets and unforeseen blessings.
I can remember wanting to be a nurse, or a librarian or an interpreter at the UN. I wanted to travel the world, live in a cottage on the beach and be a tour guide at Disneyland. One of my friends and I were going to live in Solvang and bake swedish pastries. Another friend and I were going to write a book together. I thought I would earn the presidential fitness award and a PhD. None of these plans ever happened. Life never comes out like we planned. But the life that happened instead was unexpected and pretty spectacular. I imagined a fun and happy life full of adventure and people I loved and who loved me and even those dreams paled in comparison to the reality that became my life.
I married a godly man and we had 2 smart, creative children. I got a college degree and pushed ahead successfully in a career that was not very accepting of my gender. I traveled to most states and many ballparks. I taught myself the guitar and used my Spanish to communicate the good news in another country. I got to marry my brother and baptize my cousin and teach college students. I started a business and wrote curriculum and parasailed with my 70 year old aunt.
I am not saying I am happy about everything that has happened in my life. I could never have imagined that my husband would lose his life to brain cancer and not get to walk his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. I never imagined that several of our “couple” friends would bail on our friendship after Jim died. I never dreamed that I would be out of a ministry career and struggling with too much month at the end of my money. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” So true. Imagining keeps hope alive. I wonder if I had a glimpse into the future if I would have tried to talk God out of some of it or if I would have tried to control things more than I already do. I would have dreaded the darkness of nights I had to pass through to make it to the light of day. And, yet through it all, I would do it again. The apostle Paul says, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on…” (Phil. 3:13) I will keep imagining and dreaming and looking ahead with delight and anticipation, knowing I serve a good God who has a wild imagination. He is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Eph. 3:20). So I dare to dream knowing that God is in the business of doing the impossible and can turn nightmares into happy endings. I have to admit that even though I thought I had big plans and dreams, they were too small. What really happened is better than what was thought of. So I laugh at the days to come (Prov. 31:25), wondering how good they will be and grateful in advance. Imagining heaven will be even bigger – and we have forever to enjoy its reality!
I can only imagine.