It is all His anyway
Today is one month after I was the victim of a crime (the theft of my car and all my stuff) and overwhelming personal violation that touched others too. Yesterday, I finally got my car from the repair shop at the dealer. I think Betty was adequately de-“cootified”. Yet, all my things in the car were removed and I cannot replace most of them. I am trying to piece things back together; I am still discovering little side effects and I am sure I will continue to discover frustrations and losses in the days and months to come. I can still see my active air tag and backpack but have not decided to exercise courage enough to try and retrieve it. I waver between anger and discouragement, and disillusionment at the police and insurance company as well as myself for my naivete. But here is the thing I have been reminded of again and again in the last month: IT ALL BELONGS TO GOD.
It is not my car, it is His, loaned to me to steward. It is not my computer, my phone, nor my stuff, and my possession of so many things does not mean ownership of those things. They are gifts and the source is a very generous God. I am daily struggling to hand it all over to Him.. I am still angry and unable to pray for the idiot who sinned against “me”. I am far from letting it all go but I am at least looking forward rather than back anymore.
Additionally, it has been a year since I lived in Downey. I am still grateful for the space I was allowed for 7 years while being so glad to be out of the town that I found so isolating. I still do not have a personal space to land and my stuff is still in storage. I continue to live at my brother’s home and use my mother’s address. Here is the thing I am still reminded of and that is that NOTHING IS MY OWN! Nothing in this life is guaranteed. The permanent home I seek will also be a gift in Someone Else’s Home. – GOD’s!
Life is like that, full of reminders that life is not fair. Life is not permanent. But life is best lived in light of forever. It is still good because it is all His!