Baby Steps to the Throne
Today I am pondering the idea that I am not even thirsty, even when I have not had anything to drink. I stand in the worship center on a Sunday morning and I hear the singing of favorite songs. I glance around the room and it seems that I am the only one who does not seem engaged in the experience. I don’t feel God’s presence; I don’t even want to connect. Somewhere along the dark valley of grief I lost my grip on the One who thankfully never lets go of me. That season was followed by a tough season at the church that continues even now.
I put God last on my “to-do” list like the relationship was a chore to check off. I know that I want to be close to God again, but I am not sure how anymore. My motivation waned and even though I keep going to church and going through the motions I still find it difficult to concentrate and push forward. So I am back to baby steps and working hard to invite God into my daily life and working harder to keep him there. I am reminded that I have to make some drastic changes to give God my undivided attention: Going to bed earlier, watching less TV, being home (even though that too is lonely). No more excuses. The best way to get off the roller coaster ride is keep going consistently and faithfully with Bible reading, listening to sermons, participating in Bible studies, and keeping prayer lists. Hopefully this will make the fire burn stronger and hotter.
The Bible promises that “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). Scripture also says “if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself” (2 Timothy 2:13). So even if my faith is fading, God remains faithful toward me. His commitment to me never changes.