2020=40 YEARS

I told myself I wasn’t going to say anything this year but I am taking it back. Today is the tenth anniversary of my last wedding anniversary! Aug. 23, 1980. 4 decades (aka 2 score) ago I married James William Mohler. It is hard to reminisce publicly because I have the sense from some comments that people think I am still grieving. Well, after 10 years without Jim I can say I think I will always mourn the loss of my other half, but I do not grieve in the same way as I once did. Many things are different now than they were 40 years ago. And yet some things are the same. “The more things change, the more they stay the same, ” is a quote by Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr and it rivals the statement by cynical King Solomon in Ecclesiastes, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Change and constant are 2 sides of the same coin. Life changes but it is still the the same as each life is unique while still following similar patterns.

Forty is a significant number. In the Bible it is usually associated with testing and trials we endure as we wait for the fulfillment of God’s promises. Think about it. 40 winks is the perfect nap. 40 Below is cold (same temp both Celsius and Fahrenheit). POTUS 40 is Ronald Reagan. 40 is Ruby wedding anniversary. 40 spaces on a Monopoly board. 40 players on an MLB roster. Forty is the only integer whose English name has its letters in alphabetical order. Saul, David and Solomon each reigned for 40 years. 12 spies searched Canaan for 40 days. 40 lashes is a lot of beating. 40 weeks is a full term pregnancy. Ali Baba and the 40 thieves. It rained on Noah for 40 days and 40 nights. Moses and the children of Israel wandered for 40 years. Moses, Elijah and Jesus fasted in the wilderness for 40 days. 40 Days of Lent. 40 days between the Easter and Christ’s Ascension. XL is forty in Romans numerals. WD-40 is a great product. It is perhaps debatable that there is really anything profound about the number 40 over any other number; yet it is fair to say that it is a sufficiently large number, representing an amount large enough or long enough to remove doubt, prove a point, learn a lesson, live through another generation, and confirm an established reality.

I think that summary applies to me in regard to my anniversary. I was married for half my life and it was long enough to remove all doubt that God had a plan for us as a team and I was loved by my husband. It was grand enough to create another generation or two. It was more than enough to see a glimpse into God’s eternal plan for marriage and it is still enough to bless my life for its duration. There is something that comes with age that often isn’t valued in a throwaway culture, where new is more highly valued than old. Yet there are so many things that are made better and stronger and more beautiful with years. I am one of those things – better and stronger and even more like Jesus (beautiful) because of the gift of marriage to Jim.

“My Hit Parade” (not in order) Top 40 things I loved about being married – to Jim

1. someone to help with the chores
2. someone to scratch my back or zip up my dress
3. Someone to worship with
4. Someone who knows the song of my heart and reminds me of the words when I forget
5. someone to cook for
6. someone to laugh at and with
7. Someone to go places with
8. Someone to hold my hand
9. Someone to hold me accountable
10. Knowing someone was praying for and with me
11. Someone who made my tea just right
12. Someone to go on a walk with
13. someone with wisdom and discernment – judgment that is trustworthy
14. someone who nurtured our kids
15. someone who is financially responsible great provider
16. someone to dream with and then make a plan to make those dreams become reality
17.  someone to make memories with
18.  someone to garden with
19.  someone to believe in me and value me and make me a better person
20. someone who knows me intimately
21. someone to make music with and enjoy music together
22. the ways you valued me and our relationship
23. The way you loved our children
24. The way you would wake in the night and kiss me gently
25. The way you loved my family and friends
26. The way you listened to me and kept my secrets
27.  The way you reflected Jesus (PTPOG)
28. the way you lead with integrity ALWAYS – a man of your word
29.  family worship together
30.  playing games together
31. making life fun
32.  Your gratitude – always being thankful for even the little things (clean clothes, food, ideas,etc)  so I never felt taken advantage of.
33. Your punny humor and silly wit
34. Your encouragement and kind words. My Barnabas
35.  Your intelligence and creativity
36.  Your intentionality
37.  Your magic with its banter
38.  My teammate
39.  My best friend
40.  My love