Answered prayers of a Contented mom
It is so curious that I did not want to be a parent but it became the single most value of my whole life. It is, by far, the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life apart from letting go of my mate. I was so afraid of it and I did not know how I would answer a call to full time ministry and to parenting well at the same time. Further, I think the thing that is hardest about being the parent of grown children is that they were my whole world for 18 + years and now they do not need me the way they once did. The whole point of parenting is to de-parent; I am proud of the independent and responsible Christ followers they have become. And yet, my love for them is the same – it may be quieter but it continues to grow. It may be deeper but it keeps expanding. I love them when they forget to check-in. I love them when they ignore my texts. I love that they still call to ask for a favor or they need a recipe. I love that they are so different from each other and yet they both carry so much of their father with them. I love that they tell all their friends about their new adventure before I know about it. I love seeing how God answered the prayers of our hearts and how He continues to answer.
Last weekend, along with Clayton and many of his community, I went to a wedding in Oregon. This was for one of his friends, who also happens to be one of my former co-workers. It was beautiful and fun. I am so blessed to have witnessed so many of Clayton and Amanda’s friends interact with each other and love each other well. I love each one of these people and I feel so proud of them, watching them parent and bring out the best in each other. The one thing that no parent has any control over*, which actually has the hugest impact on a life is the choice of friends. After years of youth ministry we had experienced this truth over and over again. The bible says that,
“A mirror reflects a man’s face but what he is really like is shown by the kinds of friends he chooses.”
We prayed for our kids to choose good friends. We modeled healthy friendships. We encouraged relationships. We worked to teach our kids how to be a good friend. We prayed over each of their friends regularly. And this weekend, I was able to glimpse, in real time, the result of our effort and God’s gracious answer.
I am grateful that they have friends. I am thankful that I am part of the lives of some of their friends. I still think about my kids constantly. Besides thoughts about my Jim, my two kids are still the first and last thought of every day. Their names – and that of their spouses – consume much of my prayer life. May God continue to bless my kids’ friendships and may I always be one of them.
*control over life is the one thing no really has -but what we can control is our responses to life’s impact, but that is for another post