Brain Farts and Flatlining

Warning – Rant below –

I used to be rather skilled at creative problem solving and brainstorming. I found it invigorating and I was often asked to stop giving ideas after awhile because I was so practiced in it that once on a roll it was easy to keep going. I was part of a team as a parent, as a minister and as a teacher. Unfortunately, those are not skills I am ever asked to use anymore nor am I given the opportunity to participate in planning or problem solving or strategic thinking. So, I now just sputter and my “engine” has a hard time revving to life! It is so true that if you don’t use it you lose it!

I have known for some time that I am old enough to be an antique – which are usually treated with respect and are often valued for the longevity and history held –  but because we live in such a throw away culture I have the feeling that I am more trash than treasure, or a fossil that has been smashed to see if there is anything of worth inside and then tossed.

I never thought about not having a “seat at the table”. I never ever imagined that  my opinion or ideas would not be considered or asked for. It didn’t dawn on me that I would become so silenced, sidelined and hidden away. But I am. I am not sure how to fix it; it is hard to push my way into any circles anymore. I can’t make people listen or consider my opinion, and I feel very dispensable. I don’t like it.

But since I know how it feels, may I grow in my consideration of others and making sure they feel seen and heard and valued. And may I find my worth and value in other people and places. Today it is what is impacting this blog since I no longer even know what to say or think anyone will care to read or hear it.

Rant over – for now – return to your regularly scheduled lives.