The Empty Seat

Today I was startled by another person who has gone ahead to heaven; that is number 6 in as many days. Why does it feel like more people die at the holidays?! I know that it probably not true, but perhaps it just feels even more difficult because of the season. For many, me included, the empty seat at the table, the empty spot where the stocking once hung, and the sadness when a certain song or holiday movie comes up represent the hard parts of the holidays. Keeping one’s joy in the holiday season is challenging right after a loved one dies. The wounds are so fresh; I remember that first Christmas after Jim, who loved Christmas, died. It was rough. And then my dad died and our patriarch in his signature “Bah Humbug” sweatshirt left a gaping hole in our extended family celebration.

And yet, there is a beautiful reality called family. There are other people who knew the same ones I loved and shared his DNA/blood and together we were able to grieve and reminisce together. Instead of pretending that everything was okay we could be sad, angry and out of sorts while we comforted one another. We could laugh and cry and carry-on certain traditions as we treasured the moments and wished the one missing was still here.  I am looking ahead at the family gatherings for those who are in their first holidays without their person(s), and my heart goes out to them as I carry them to the One who will meet them in their sorrow. Here’s the thing: the truth is that the God of all joy is also the God of all comfort. He is the Prince of Peace and our Living Hope. Emmanuel – God is with us as we grieve and as we carry love for the one who is not at the table any longer.

I also think gratefully about the new people who have been added to our table (Gabby, Drew, Kelly, Amanda, Connor, et al.), while we all still miss the loss of grandpa, and Uncle Jim along with others in our extended family tree. And I can’t wait for the table in heaven that has NO EMPTY SEATS!