Pebbles and sandcastles – An answer to Kellen
This week “my” team took me to lunch since I am stepping away from being their admin. Some might call it retirement. Not since the word widow first became one of my descriptors have I been so adverse to a term used to define my current status. But – That is another topic for another day. While we were at lunch, I was asked to share some of my more memorable moments. I was also asked by Kellen to share who are some of the favorite people I have worked with over the last 14 years. I gave a few names, but I want to amend my answer. While the easy answer would be Scott (duh) or Clayton (double duh), it is no small thing to have been a part of a team that has given value to everyone, regardless of age, gender or position. It has been amazing to have had a seat at the table with so many godly stewards to the keys of the kingdom.* I know that by listing names I will leave someone out, hurt someone’s feelings because they were not someone who I enjoyed working with or for; it feels like saying I have a favorite child. Nevertheless, each person I have been able to serve has left a lasting impact on my heart and life*. And I will say that those I am currently working with are my current favorites. Just like the last words are the best remembered, I think there is something special about those who are here for the end of my journey on the team. (Wish we had taken a selfie at lunch!! ).
When I started out in vocational ministry, I had the dream to spend my entire career in Middle School ministry. That was, in fact, something that was unknowingly started when I was in 6th grade and unwittingly turned into a lifelong passion and career choice. After more than 25 years with junior high students, that season sadly ended when we moved back to California. I grieved the loss of daily interactions with the amazing 11-14 year old demographic, while I continued to teach for Trinity, mentoring and enabling others to embrace both ministry and adolescent students. It was an acceptable side hustle.
After Jim got sick and lost his position at Biola, I needed to find a job – any job – so I stepped completely out of my comfort zone and into corporate America, specifically medical billing. A year and a half after Jim died, a position opened at Fullerton Free as an administrative assistant to the youth ministry. Not only did I understand the rhythm of youth ministry in general, I “knew” the philosophy of this ministry specifically, since my kids were participants. Since being hired in June 2012, the job is very different than when I was hired. The pastoral staff has changed many times– expected in ministry to youth and kids – as have my offices and responsibilities. I do have the rare privilege of maintaining the same “boss” – Scott Belon – which most other ministry assistants cannot say! I have been the fortunate one to have worked for and with the best of the best.
Additionally, the culture of both the church at large and this church specifically is greatly different too. But then again, the only constant in life is change! Ministry to those who minister actively with students felt redemptive at the time I started at Fullerton Free. It still does. Over the years I have had fulfillment in doing my best, whether I was in the margins or not. California labor laws have impeded my ability to minister in the way I would have liked. Nevertheless, I have loved being able to help those who are ministering to do their best work as they make much of Jesus.
In my work life I have been privileged to know and work with some amazing, smart, funny and talented people. Most have changed or challenged me in meaningful ways. Most have helped shaped who I am. Most I still know and call friend. Many have made me think. Some have left a profound impact on my life. A few have reflected Christ so brilliantly that I am speechless. There are few things in life as rewarding as knowing you have made a difference in the lives of others. Just as a stone tossed into a lake creates a ripple effect, the impact of the relationships of our ever changing team radiates outward, leaving a beautiful and lingering shimmer on the water of my life.*
When working for so long in Student Ministries, the turnover is exponential and expected. Ministry reminds me once again of the metaphor about dropping a rock in a pond and the ever expanding circles that radiate out from the place of impact with the water. I do not hold any grand illusion that any one pebble matters any more than another. The impact can only be made when it touches the water and only those who are present can see that impact. Ministries become memories that fade away and yet I do not believe that lessens the impact at all. I believe this resonates with the truths that ministry best happens in relationship and that only what is done for Christ lasts. The people I have worked with and have had the privilege of witnessing their impact for Christ has been a blessing. Worshiping and serving the Lord together has been an incredible experience.
Like the ripples in a pond is the concept of a sandcastle. I love playing at the beach. Building a sandcastle represents the idea of creating something together, putting your earnest effort into making something special, despite knowing it won’t last forever. The impact is greater than the moment it is made. Like a pebble dropped in a pond, there are ripples that extend out but they eventually dissipate and fade away. Like a sandcastle that lingers until the tide rises before it dissolves, there is beauty in the moment. Perhaps that is because it was never about the pebble or the sandcastle. Rather, it is all about the water! The integrity of a rock and the strength of a sandcastle rely intimately on water! The water binds the sand together and ultimately carries the structure out to sea, and the pond carries the ripples of the stone in ever widening circles. I have been in ministry long enough to know that it all matters long after the specific impact (of the stone or the sand castle) has been made.
There will be many more pebble ripples that I will miss, but I will never forget the joyful opportunities I have seen, watching so many build relationships that have far-reaching consequences. There is truly something special about the bonds formed when serving alongside others in a ministry setting. Sharing a common faith and purpose often brings out the absolute best in people. The seemingly small act of jumping into my life has had the profound ability to set off a ripple effect, creating waves of transformation that has extended far beyond the initial splash. Thank you to each of you for the splashes of joy you have made. Please do not ever stop splashing, creating ripples, making castles or impacting lives for the sake of the kingdom.
Some of those “pebbles” on the Fullerton Free who are still impacting me and I love that we walked part of life together….
*Scott, Stossi, Josh, Brendan, Kelsey, Katie, Christina, Clayton, Amy, Tim, Josh F, Stephanie, Jess, Connor, Morgan, Wes, Joel, Ali, Allie, Carp, Lacey, Kody, Becca, Jordan, Jackson, JJ, Kellen, Nohemi, Allie E, Alex, Cassie, Nikki, Ann, Cindi, Julie, Jamie, Amy G, Madeline, Kristen, Ana, Tiffany, Ari, Malynda, Michael, Ryan, Curtis.
PS An entirely different metaphor could also be used. After a fire there are still wisps of smoke that linger and continue to burn slowly. The visual of wisps of smoke is another metaphors for transience of how the impact of relationships in ministry continue long after they begin—the quiet, lingering aftermath of a life and ministry that burned brightly. It beautifully echoes David in Psalm 104:4 says, “He makes winds his messengers, flames of fire his servants”.