Generational Bias is not my Favorite

I can remember when I was new in ministry and I found myself in the margins because of my age and gender. I had so much to learn that I just accepted the poor behaviors of those in church who discounted my ideas and my insights because of my age. But that was then. perhaps even starting this with “I remember when” was my first mistake today. When Jim tried to find a youth ministry job at about age 40, he also experienced ageism. ‘Any middle aged man who wanted to work with teenagers at a church must be a pervert’ was one of the prevailing attitudes. Another response was that the church could not justify paying an associate staff member more than the senior pastor who was younger, less educated and lacked experience. And still another reply was that there was not enough return on the investment to pay a youth pastor more than a starting wage. All these things are more than hurtful as is any other form of discrimination or bigotry. It is interesting to me that we allow people to behave this way, especially from other christians. These are a few of the myopic and mean things I have personally encountered in my ministry experience.

I cannot ever think of a time that a church made a case for an older pastor to be hired. It is like there is a magical age between 25 and anything about 55 that is considered acceptable to lead in ministry and anything outside of that framework is not ever going to be accepted or even considered as an exception. In my experience in church ministry in western culture the church is one of the worst organizational offenders of ageism and prejudice. The siloes and divisions we create to target ministry opportunities and needs doe not help either. And then there is the lack of accountability and the lack of mentoring that feeds the toxicity.

I recently had lunch with a friend who, after glowing reviews, was let go from a christian company because of her age. I know others who are experiencing the push to leave, to resign or otherwise be limited. It reminds me of the “good old boy” system I grew up in where women were allowed to do a minimum of things no matter how qualified they might have been to do more.

I am the oldest person on staff at my church. That happened recently when 2 others retired. I already do not like it. I know how people I work with talk about and treat people who are outside of the magic window on the older side and it is not kind. There is often some grace given to those who are on the young end and it is even championed as being progressive. The search is for someone young. The church I attend is not new nor is it in an area without older folks (which was the case at a former place of employment). Rather, it is a ministry that has history and is a multiage church.  The community demographic is not reflected in the staff. I know the church I work at is “typical” and I would probably find myself similarly marginalized and ignored on another church staff too. It makes me really sad.