I Matter

Well – it happened. I am officially old. I am really stunned at this latest change that occurred in my life this week. It really was only made official this week but it has been a reality I have been denying for some time. One of the things the pandemic has done is push back other preventative health appointments and wellness checks. I have not been to the optometrist and it was easy to use the excuse that it didn’t feel “safe”, even though I have had my hair cut and contemplated a pedicure in the last few years! For me, eye trouble feels more ominous than getting a knee replaced or even menopause! I cannot possibly be this old, can I?! I can’t possibly need a real prescription for real glasses let alone progressives, can I?!. I have gone through life this long and not needed them! I remember an optometrist telling me 20 years ago that since I had not needed them by that point, I would probably never need anything but readers! He lied.

I want to make a disclaimer here that I do not and have not ever thought about the age of all people who do wear glasses. I do not have any negative feelings about those who need them but for some reason I have had a sense of conceited pride that I have not ever worn glasses. It is not good, of course, but now I join the myriads of people who are grateful for this amazing invention.

The very idea that I would now have to be responsible enough to take care of a very expensive piece of necessary equipment and perhaps change the status on my driver’s license is daunting at best. And now I will never be considered for flight school (not that I would ever apply!)

So, I just need glasses! I guess it is really good news that my arms are not too short after all and the font and print is not shrinking or fading as it appeared! I have to admit that I do a LOT of squinting. I didn’t even notice that I was, but others have pointed it out and I suppose it is not normal. I have readers ALL over the house, on every key ring and I have left spares at other people’s homes, just in case I can’t find one of the 5 or 6 pairs in my purse. Additionally, I have started to use the flashlight on my phone more , I have taken screenshots and expanded the picture to see it better. I also have magnifying glasses sprouting up on every table and night stand nearby. Another thing that is not easy to admit is that my eyes don’t focus as quickly as they used to. Looking at the phone or computer and then looking up has become a challenge as it takes longer to change my perspective from close up to far away. Again, it isn’t perpetual dizziness; it is old eyes and I just need glasses!

I have “former” friends who have mentioned that I am getting old. Even though I prefer the term vintage or mature to old, and even though I still hold to the idea that you are only as old as you feel and that the older you get the more important it is to not act your age, some of my body parts are becoming non-cooperative.

Hopefully glasses will make the embarrassing scenarios fade, like being asked to read a passage of scripture aloud, which I cannot actually see in my pocket Bible with the microscopic print! (Good thing I chose to memorize whole passages years ago!) Other similar cheek-reddening moments include trying to thread a needle, finding directions on a map, reading theater programs in darkened auditoriums, menus in candlelit restaurants (which I rarely go to anyway), or reading a dark food label to make sure there are no tree nuts in the product.

Ultimately, I think it will be surprising and exciting to think of all the things I have been missing by not seeing them in crystal clear detail. 

Photo to follow!