Baby Mohler’s Shower 6-13

It is my privilege to welcome you, along with Jennifer,  to this baby shower and celebration of life – specifically the life of our grandson, who will change the life of our kids and has already changed all of our names and roles  – to Mom and Dad – Mimsy and Safta. Thank you for coming and for loving our kids so well. You represent an amazing community and we are so grateful.  I’m feeling tender and pensive. Like Mary in Luke 2, I’m pondering many things in my heart.

When Jim and I found out we were pregnant, we wanted to figure out how to be the best parents we could be. Even though we had been in ministry with kids and families for years, and we had been to college and seminary studying all the best ways to teach and understand kids, we knew having kids of our own was going to take more than application of the theories and acquired empirical knowledge and pedagogy.

Parenting is an adventure that no amount of reading can fully prepare you for. We began to seek wisdom about parenting from multiple sources.  We learned from our parents (about what to do and what not to do), watched other families around us, read plenty of books about parenting, and we looked to the Bible to see what it said about this joyful yet daunting responsibility. God’s Word contains timeless guidance that parents of all generations should follow as they rear their children.  I remember telling Clayton, when he was little, how amazing it would be if one day he would have a son who was as cuddly and thoughtful as he was. When he showed such intelligence and musicality at an early age, I felt as overwhelmed about being his mom as I had with Emily and her giftedness.  He grew into a man who is so much like his father – godly and smart, full of integrity and gentle, quiet strength of character.  Both of my kids deserve kids just like the ones they were for me. Both of my kids are my heroes. Both of my kids are stellar human beings.

God is compared to many things to help us understand him better. For example, one of the ways we understand the trinitarian community of the godhead is through the marriage relationship. Also, the community of faith is understood in the context of family, which is the first foundational relationship set up in Genesis 1. The concept of God as father is another one of those comparisons. Whatever else God is, he is a parent who knows what it costs to hold his children and what is costs to let go. I am grateful for a God who models parenting as he births, nurtures, loves, guides, pursues, gives, corrects and trusts. No matter our own experience, metaphors such as these are a way for us to understand the idea of something healthy and whole. Being a parent has been one of the most joyful experiences in my life and also one of the most humbling. As I contemplate one of the Bible’s central metaphors for God: God as parent, as father and mother, I am reminded so much about the perfect ministry of a parent.

• How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  1 John 3:1.
• Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb?  Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Isaiah 49:15.
• Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that flutters over its young, spreading out its wings, catching them, bearing them on its pinions, the Lord alone guided him. Deuteronomy 32:11.
• How often have I longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. Luke 13:34.
• I will bellow like a woman in labor, I will gasp and pant. Isaiah 42:14.
• In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. John 14:2.

These verses reveal so much. The God these passages describe loves his children wildly and without restraint. He remembers. He holds the stories of his babies. He parents with wisdom. He longs to give and receive affection and aches when his children refuse his embrace. He groans in labor, giving himself over to shattering pain to bring new life into the world. He keeps house, honoring the diversity of his children by preparing not one room but many rooms for his children to return to and call home. Time and space limit the many principles God’s Word provides about parenting, but I will share three truth concepts that Jim and I decided would be central to representing God as parent in our new and lifelong roles as mom and dad.

1. Love God most. We were already working on making this a reality in our marriage. The Schema in Deut. 6 says,

“Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone.  And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children.

Our pastor shared this concept with us in our premarital counseling and it eventually changed our parenting outlook too.   Love God most so you can love others more.  Put God first to grow closer to your spouse. Loving God first and best in order to love your children better.

It is easy to get caught up in the stress of getting everything “right.” We buy the perfect crib, read all the parenting books, and sanitize every pacifier. But even when we do our best, there are going to be those inevitable, humbling moments when the baby spits up on your new shirt, or someone spills an entire glass of milk across a freshly mopped floor. When those moments come, it is vital to remember the promise in

Psalm 127:1: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”

There’s something I have learned the hard way about parenting and any other roles I have in my life. The effect I have on the lives of others is based less on what I do and more on who I am. If I spend all my energy trying to learn and do the right things as a parent and neglect the core of who I am and whose I am, my influence will be limited and, at worst, destructive.

 2. It Takes a Team. Again, this was the theme of our marriage. It is even engraved on our wedding rings, which Clayton now wears. It takes a village. We were made for community . It all started with a family. Parenting isn’t meant to be a solo mission. Whether dealing with a 2:00 AM feeding or making big educational choices, a partnership works best together. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up

Sharing the load and asking for backup is especially critical when you’re entering a world that involves zero spare time, endless laundry, and a level of sleep deprivation that makes you do weird things. The secret to survival is knowing that we are not required to manage anything solo. In Proverbs 3:5, we read:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

In the world of parenting, this translates perfectly: “Trust in Google, but lean entirely on your coffee.” When you are covered in spit-up at 4 a.m. and wondering why on earth this tiny human is awake and staring at you like a drill sergeant, remember that you are not in this alone. You have each other, you have this village of friends and family cheering you on, and you have a grace that is new every morning.  – How thankful I am for my parents, the many teachers, mentors, youth leaders, camp counselors, pastors – and so many more that were instrumental in my children’s lives.

3. Laugh Gratefully. Karl Barth said, “Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.”  Thankfulness and laughter go hand in hand because gratitude opens your heart, making you far more receptive to joy. CS Lewis said, “Gratitude is no small thing and joy is the serious business of heaven”.

First of all, realize that this precious baby is a gift from God. Thank God. From conception through morning sickness, the first little flutter, the strong kicks that wake you up in the night, to eagerly looking forward to those contractions that let you know your suitcase better be packed and ready – God is at work.  King David described it so beautifully in Psalm 139 when he wrote,

“You formed my inward parts, you did weave me in my mother’s womb, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Your eyes have seen my unformed substance and in your book they were all written – – the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.”

Second, enjoy your son.  Enjoy each new phase of his life. Laugh at the messy parts, Remember the best phrase in the Bible – it came to pass…. when there are those tough years when you want to put yourself in time out and not come out until the kid is out of whatever phase it is. I am sure each one of us here will testify to the fact that our children grew up way too fast. Yes, it came to pass passes before we are ready and we wonder, “Where did the time go? ” So, savor each moment as it comes. Play with him. Laugh with him. Celebrate each new accomplishment. Be firm when necessary but be sure to give more praises then scoldings, love unconditionally, teach him to pray. And let us pray for this little family now as we close.

Dear Lord, thank you for the wonderful miracle of this new life and the gift of laughter. We pray that you will bless Amanda and Clayton with abundant patience, an endless supply of diapers, and lots and lots of sleep. Give them the grace to laugh off the messes, and remind them to lean on You and on each other when they are overwhelmed. May their home be filled with joy, love, and Your peace. In Your name, Amen