Anticipating Grief – Embracing Grace
Life with a big future full of dreams. Together. 36 years ago I said “I do”. Life was perfect. I was marrying the man God ordained for me. We made wedding plans. My dress was designed by me and sewn by a family friend as were the bridesmaid’s dresses. Rings were bought. Flowers ordered. Cake…
The 5th anniversary – Nov. 5
So today is the 5th anniversary of the day Jim breathed heaven for the first time. That day will always be surreal for me as I reflect on each moment of that day. There were highlights like singing over Jim as he left the shadowlands for glory. There are regrets and things I would have…
Jim’s digital footprint
The other day I was approached by a Facebook team and asked if I would be willing to give an interview about my experience with a Memorial page on the social media site, because of the way I memorialized Jim’s Facebook page. I was happy to oblige as I was hoping they would allow me…
It has already been 6 years
6 years since the strange shuffling of his foot and the droop in in his smile. 6 years since he seemed to become slow to respond and abnormally quiet. 6 years since the “C” word entered my life and altered the landscape of my existence. 6 years. It seems distant and faded in many ways.…
Mirm in Wonderland
There are so many childhood fairy tales that have hidden meanings if we look for them. Sometimes they are there intentionally as in Narnia and sometimes perhaps there are just lessons that can be applied to our own story like a parable. I love both kinds of tales and the secret lands that I find…
Miriam on 34th St
It is my 34th Anniversary so I decided to have a little picnic in honor of the day. Jim proposed at 34th street in Newport Beach on Christmas day in 1979. I was trying to think of some clever way to remember and honor the day. There were several interesting ideas*… but in the end…
Three Years
Dear Jim, What would I say to you if I could see you today, three years after you left earth for heaven? I know that there are events and thoughts that happen all the time that I want to tell you about. For example, I work at church now as an Admin in the Student…
My post today as I get ready for tomorrow…
This is morbidly funny on the anniversary eve of Jim’s graduation to glory! (Just the kind of thing he would have told) (A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!) A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the…
33 years!
I know some might consider it silly to keep celebrating my anniversary even though Jim is in heaven but on this date I changed my name, committed my life to another and began a new family. That family still exists and I am dedicated to its survival. I just cannot ignore a day that forever…
My biggest fear
One thing I was often fearful of was that I loved Jim too much and so God would take him from me. Then my worst fear came true. I know that is not accurate because I know that is not what God is like. And yet, on really dark days I still wonder if there…