Advances in Treatment
Not often, but once in awhile after seeing an ad on TV or hearing of another person with the dreaded disease, I wonder what would have happened if Jim had gotten GBM4 today versus 14 years ago. The majority of brain cancers are highly invasive and rarely spreads to other parts of the body beyond…
These Days
Today I woke up on the verge of tears. I had a good night’s sleep and did not have any dreams, good or bad, that I can remember. Then it dawned on me (literally and figuratively) – it is the season when my sorrow began! It surprises me how the body and the subconscious know…
44 years later
Today marks my wedding anniversary. 8.23.80. Forty -four years ago I said yes to a lifelong adventure with Jim. We were able to enjoy that adventure for over 30 years.. There has been so much life with loss but also so much joy. I marvel at the life God gave me and the story He…
Holding Hands #33
Holding hands is one thing I miss – A LOT! Holding hands seems like an ordinary thing to do but it is also a very intimate thing. 44 years ago tomorrow I gave my hand (and my heart) to Jim as we promised to have and to hold. Holding hands means so many things and…
The Dating pool
I was asked, again, if I ever considered dating and getting remarried. My answer hasn’t changed. I had a good marriage and I really never considered doing it again. But at the same time I miss companionship every day. Jim’s friendship. And even after 14 years without him the aloneness seems stronger every day instead…
A Bakers Dozen.
13 years ago Jim went to heaven where time is different than here – there is no morning and evening. There is no night. There is only joy and light and Jesus! But on this side of the veil there are days which turn into weeks, months and years. There is waiting and remembering and…
One Four Three means I love you! 8.23.23
143 was our favorite number! It means I love you! We used it as our code. We wrote it on every note and card to each other. We would squeeze our hands – one of us would squeeze once and the other would respond with four pumps and then the initiator would finish with three…
Grief is meant to be shared.
Really? It feels so lonesome and isolated and in many ways it is. It is a dark place that I don’t want to walk and even less do I want to drag anyone else there. And yet…. … I long for people to hear my stories, whether they are loss or gain. I need people…
What my dad would want you to know
Yesterday we celebrated my dad’s life – These are my words: Thank you for coming- we are grateful for the part you have played in the life of our family and for the honor you show by helping us today in honoring the life of Rex. Some of you knew Rex better than others. Some…
November 5th
This is a day seared into my memory forever. It is that mix of complete devastation and holy moments. It was a blend of wanting complete privacy and needing to allow everyone else to say their goodbyes. It is the worst day of my life and the hardest one I have ever known. It is…