The Dating pool
I was asked, again, if I ever considered dating and getting remarried. My answer hasn’t changed. I had a good marriage and I really never considered doing it again. But at the same time I miss companionship every day. Jim’s friendship. And even after 14 years without him the aloneness seems stronger every day instead…
A Bakers Dozen.
13 years ago Jim went to heaven where time is different than here – there is no morning and evening. There is no night. There is only joy and light and Jesus! But on this side of the veil there are days which turn into weeks, months and years. There is waiting and remembering and…
One Four Three means I love you! 8.23.23
143 was our favorite number! It means I love you! We used it as our code. We wrote it on every note and card to each other. We would squeeze our hands – one of us would squeeze once and the other would respond with four pumps and then the initiator would finish with three…
Grief is meant to be shared.
Really? It feels so lonesome and isolated and in many ways it is. It is a dark place that I don’t want to walk and even less do I want to drag anyone else there. And yet…. … I long for people to hear my stories, whether they are loss or gain. I need people…
What my dad would want you to know
Yesterday we celebrated my dad’s life – These are my words: Thank you for coming- we are grateful for the part you have played in the life of our family and for the honor you show by helping us today in honoring the life of Rex. Some of you knew Rex better than others. Some…
November 5th
This is a day seared into my memory forever. It is that mix of complete devastation and holy moments. It was a blend of wanting complete privacy and needing to allow everyone else to say their goodbyes. It is the worst day of my life and the hardest one I have ever known. It is…
What I remember
There are many lives I remember: People who have walked through my life leaving footprints on my heart; voices that whisper kind words that I can still faintly hear; touches through deeds and presence that have given my life purpose and changed its shape. Some I remember by name and some I cannot. Last night…
Grief and Covid
Another friend died of covid. UGH! He was healthy, “young”, a dad and a great husband. This is not supposed to be like this! I feel like I focus way too much on loss and grief. Perhaps that makes me a negative person, but I figure if you don’t care to read my thoughts –…
Using the W word
I am thinking about the day we celebrated Jim in a memorial service on this date in 2010. We had music, balloons, laffy taffy, people from every part of his life and more. It was a “good” day. He was worth celebrating and remembering. I hate the term widow. I don’t know why, but I…
I hear you. I see you.
I have a friend who has had a very hard season and finds herself in the midst of grief and the sad loneliness that comes along for the journey. I have been there, but at the same time I haven’t. Grief is so solitary and unique. The loneliness of grief is so different than regular…