89 & 65 and me
My dad turned 89 in Oct. My parents celebrated 65 years of marriage in Nov. Every day I have them is a blessing for which I am grateful. It does not matter how long I have had my dad, nor does it matter that he has lived a good long life. It does not matter…
Fears
I have been worried about losing my job for years. It is often an irrational fear with underlying roots in unworthiness and lack of confidence, but now it is more than a fear. It is more likely than it has been and my boss basically asked for volunteers today as the budget shortfall is $1.5…
November 5th
This is a day seared into my memory forever. It is that mix of complete devastation and holy moments. It was a blend of wanting complete privacy and needing to allow everyone else to say their goodbyes. It is the worst day of my life and the hardest one I have ever known. It is…
He is Here
Have you ever taken a sentence and repeated it over and over emphasizing a different word each time? It is hard to explain how just an emphasis can make a difference – they are the same words after all – but it does change meaning. HE is here- God is the He to whom I…
Miracles
Once upon a time, last Sunday, April 10th shortly after 9pm to be more accurate, I was driving home to Downey after spending the afternoon with my parents. I was driving along with the flow of traffic on the North 605, listening to a Lucille Ball podcast, when all of a sudden I heard a…
Too Good to be True
Is it true that I am God’s favorite? Does He mean it when He says He loves me enough to die for me? Does God actually have my best interest at heart? Really?! If I look at scripture, I can be convinced, most of the time, that every time God interacts with humankind He is…
What I remember
There are many lives I remember: People who have walked through my life leaving footprints on my heart; voices that whisper kind words that I can still faintly hear; touches through deeds and presence that have given my life purpose and changed its shape. Some I remember by name and some I cannot. Last night…
It’s OK but it may not get better
I think it is important to acknowledge all the feelings and painful truths we live with day in and day out. While I know empirically that everything will eventually be okay and I know that it is alright to be in the thick of it all with the hope of relief, it all can get…
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
We are studying Genesis at church and when I get to the place where Jacob is fleeing for his life after stealing Esau’s birthright and blessing, I am always reminded of the worst night of my life – 11/5/10 when Jim left earth for heaven and I had my own dark night of the soul.…
Joy is not afraid of the Truth
The brief and frequent glimpses of happiness and joy I have tell me that I am loved. That there is something to why I am. This life is short and the next one is not. This life is hard and messy but it is also good and filled with hope. The harsh reality is that…