Route 66
Sixty-six. I do not feel this old but I guess most people wonder incredulously at the passage of time. Most days I do not feel like I am in the last third (or quarter) of my life but statistics would confirm that reality. Additionally, I believe that the older you are, the more important it…
Thirty Three is Overwhelming
Dear Emily, When I turned 33 you were one week old. Now you are 33 and in one week I will be twice your age! When I was 33 I was overwhelmed at the prospect of being a mom. I am still overwhelmed, but not with worry or anxiety, nor with sleep deprivation or with…
Sapphire Anniversary #45 – Mohlers est. 1980
Sapphire Memories – It has been 45 trips around the Sun since we pledged our love before God and it wasn’t long enough. Sometimes the days fly by. The last anniversary with Jim was 15 years ago. It has been a long time and occasionally the loneliness is unbearable. Grief is so isolating. I still…
When you wrote your name of my heart!
So I did a thing. Not a big deal and I am even unsure if I will keep this post up telling about it. There are so many opinions about this topic and I do not want to be part of the conversation about whether or not it is “okay” or not. Backing up, I…
My Coda
In music a coda is the satisfying elaboration at the end of a piece of music that offers a sense of resolution. If I got the chance to have a final word, I am not sure I would have the wherewithal to come up with all the right words in the moment. But I am…
Remembered and Celebrated
I am not one who typically dwells on the past nostalgically. I have never gone to one of my high school reunions and I do not make scrapbooks. While I love sharing memories and looking at pictures, I choose not to live life looking in the rearview mirror often. I am not saying that nostalgia…
Chicago 2025
When Jim died we made the decision to honor his life and not his death. It seems a moot point since he died 3 days before his birthday but that is not my point. The only death we want to commemorate in an ongoing way is that of Jesus. We decided 5 years ago, however, …
2 years
Dear Clayton and Amanda – It is only 2 years in but it is already hard for me to remember the life before you were married! The work that you have put in and the relationship you continue to forge is a sweet thing to observe. I would remind you that the marriage is best…
Tenacity
I wish I could add pictures to the definitions of some words in the dictionary. If I could I one to tenacity it would be a picture of Emily in her cap and gown. When Emily graduated from high school and started at Biola in 2011, Jim had not been dead very long. Not only…
Pops Concert 2025
In the fall of 1977, when I started as a freshman at Biola, my dad told Mr. Lutke that I played clarinet. Mr. Lutke persistently called me until I would give him an audition and a promise to give the band a try. If I had not joined, I would never have met Jim nor…